As reported on GMTV

The shower never did turn up last Tuesday. Instead, nearly a week later, we got the mother and father of all storms. As you know, I’m a man of limited vocabulary (amongst other limitations), so I won’t attempt to describe the rather biblical downpour we received. As reported, on GMTV, we had hailstones as big as tennis balls (6.7cm diameter), other reports said they were the size of golf balls (4.2cm diameter). Why do they only ever use those two as points of reference? I would expect that the correct size is somewhere in between, say perhaps snooker ball sized (5.2cm diameter). Anyway whatever size they were they came down like stair rods, except they were more or less coming down horizontally (so not like stair rods at all). I knew I shouldn’t have tried to describe it. However they came down, whatever size they were, they did some serious damage – especially to Wendy’s car (and several thousand other cars). Her windscreen was shattered, a wing mirror was totally removed and she has got large dents in almost every panel (I was going to say something about her bodywork looking a bit rough but it might be misconstrued). In fact the insurers are probably going to write it off (the car), but it could be several days until she finds out. She’s fairly miffed, apart from anything else she had lovingly cleaned the car inside and out less than 24 hours before the precipitous attack. I knew my policy of not cleaning my car would eventually be vindicated. It’s not like the lack of visibility through my dust laden windscreen is in anyway going to be detrimental to my already shoddy driving ability.
Back to the storm. At home, we got away with a couple of damp patches in the laundry room (and no they weren’t as a result of my reaction to the thunder and lightning that was raging outside) and the destruction of the cafe blinds in the back yard. The plastic blinds are full of snooker ball shaped holes. One tip for you, if you are ever in a storm with hailstones the size of _________ (insert ball of your choice here) don’t give in to the temptation to look up to see where they are coming from (just accept that they are coming from above). One lady ignored this advice and ended up with a rather large gash just above her eyebrow – no, it wasn’t me. I’m not saying I wouldn’t be dim enough to do such a thing but luckily I was stuck in a crowded train, inside a flooded tunnel, at the time so I didn’t get the opportunity.
The weather is back to normal now, although for the last two nights the sky has been lit up by electrical storm activity.
Before the apocalyptic weather events of this week had destroyed her car Wendy had decided to have a roof rack fitted (to the car, not herself). This was proposed in order to be able to transport a surf board that she is intending to purchase. Wendy and George went for a surf lesson on Sunday morning (first I’d heard about it). Interestingly, Wendy normally has something of an aversion to going into the sea but she appears to have conquered the fear. It’s amazing what the lure of muscle-bound, sun-kissed aussie men can do. They both seem to have enjoyed ‘surf school’ and are keen to continue – although they may have to put it on hold until next spring, seeing as we are now at the back end of summer.
Before I go I would like to say a big ‘thank you’ to everyone for acting on my rallying call to save 6 music. I didn’t realise I had 8000 people following the blog but it doesn’t really surprise me. Also, thanks to Amanda for sending me the story which detailed the campaign’s success so far.
Okay, who told Alistair Darling that I'm coming over to the UK in July? Why else would he put the Duty on cider up by 10% above inflation. You've got 'til Sunday to stock up ready for my visit. What next, is he going to tax Lions' confectionary products as well? Oi Darling, NO!
Anyway, got to go now to measure some more balls. Hopefully, if I can avoid any more Xtreme weather I’ll catch up with you again soon.
H