two pints of lager and a packet of crisps please

Now that's what you call a party. I'm told the housewarming/Wendy's birthday party was very good - but, as you would expect, I was unconscious after the second pint so I'm relying on other people's accounts. For the record, the twelve adults attending drank a total of 47 bottles of lager, 3 bottles of fizz, 4 bottles of white wine, 1 bottle of red wine, a bottle of babycham and a small glass of sweet sherry. Just to confirm, if it's needed after such a detailed inventory, the majority of the attendees were accountants.

Anyone who knows Wendy would have guessed, of course, that we were fully unpacked within two days of moving into the new house. It helped that one of the removal men was a man mountain who was able to pick washing machines up with one hand.
In the course of unpacking, I discovered something worse than dismantling flat-pack furniture: Re-assembling flat-pack furniture without the aid of instructions. All I had to help me put Hattie's bedroom furniture back together was a slightly out of focus photo of her old bedroom with the furniture situated somewhere in the far distance. I think I did a good job, considering, I think I might try selling Ikea the design for my three legged wardrobe (called 'Jake').

And no, we haven't been brave enough to venture into the swimming pool yet, the kids managed to dip their toes in but that was as far as they got. It's a bit chilly at the moment, I think we will have to wait until spring (September) before using it. In the meantime I have to vacuum it - I got through three Dysons and got an even spikier new haircut before it was explained to me that you create the vacuum using the pool's filter pump. So much to learn (tenuous link alert).
Talking of learning, George is now doing a PEAC course for gifted and talented children (If it wasn't for the fact that he has got my genetically mutated knees, I'd be asking for a DNA test). Basically, it means that one morning a week he goes to a different school and does lessons on a chosen subject with other show-offs (sorry, gifted kids). George's course is called 'Save the Earth - it's the only planet with chocolate' and over the last four weeks he has gradually turned into an eco-warrior. We have all been forced to cut down on our energy consumption - Hattie only gets out of bed if it's absolutely necessary, George has cut down on his use of soap and shampoo and I am now re-cycling at least 75% of my jokes.

The kids got their school reports this week, Hattie's was very good. She did well across all subjects but particularly excelled in art, getting an A (If it wasn't for the fact that she has my devastating good looks, I'd be asking for a DNA test).

I'm expecting that by the time I get round to writing the next blog we will have been here for six months so it may well take the form of a half-yearly report.

I'm off to fill a hot water bottle now - it's going to be 3 degrees tonight. It just leaves me to say ... when will I see you again? (three degrees, gettit?................bloody sod you then)