Waterloo, couldn't escape if I wanted to

I'm sure no one has noticed but there has been a bit of a gap between transmissions - I did try to fix up some' hold' music for you to listen to whilst waiting for the next blog to arrive but I appear to have mis-placed my copy of '40 pan-pipe classics'.

Talking of musical nightmares, imagine my horror to discover that moving to a different continent is not enough to escape the horror that is 'The Eurovision Song Contest'. I have to admit that I manged to avoid the semi-finals but got drawn into watching the start of the final but only to see if it would be Sir Terrance of Wogan doing the commentary... and it was. I am considering setting up a version of Eurovision over here - but I'm not sure it would work because no-one would vote for us here in the West and all the Eastern States would just vote for each other... and what would be the point of that. Mind you, I would have an amazing array of pop talent to choose from, namely: Mental As Anything, Angry Anderson, Men at Work and Midnight Oil. The lead singer of Midnight Oil (somebody Garrett) is now the Environment Minister... it's a bit like you in the UK appointing H from Steps as Home Secretary, or something even more bizarre like voting in Boris Johnston to be Lord Mayor of London.

Staying on the theme of dubious music brings us to the Aussie wedding that we gatecra.. sorry, attended recently. The ceremony itself was very entertaining - the priest delivered an excellent stand-up routine - but seemed a bit hazy on the religious stuff, a duo (It may possibly have been Crowded House or perhaps Chaz n' Dave) performed the musical interludes (mercifully there wasn't any community singing at all) and the crowd was very well behaved. In fact it was a very enjoyable day and evening, the reception was at Sandelfords Winery - where the food was excellent, the speeches were palatable and the open bar was totally abused. No, the only problem was the Disco, it was by no means the worst DJ I've encountered (I can think of at least three CGA Christmas Parties where the DJ has made Dazzlin' Darren sound like Paul Oakenfold). But you have to question the credentials of a DJ that plays Jive Bunny - they may well be the biggest act ever to come out of Rotherham, and yes my Spanish teacher did appear in one of their videos (which may explain why I failed my (ye) O (lde) level), but there is no place for them on the dance floor in the 21st Century. I tell you, if they hadn't been serving up the port at the time... I would have left in disgust. As it was we still left before they'd played Come on Eilleen.

When I've finished updating the blog my next task will be to put a play list together for our housewarming party - strictly no Jive Bunny or Black Lace.... I'm thinking Smiths, Cure, Joy Division, Nick Cave, etc - that way everyone will leave early before they can wreck the joint. The party is on the 14th June and you are all invited (bring a plate and some ear plugs).

Awards time:
Wendy finished her Australian Tax course this week (she has been doing it more or less since we arrived). She passed the exam with a ridiculously high mark and now has a short break before embarking on her next lot of studying.
George received a 'highly commended' certificate and prize at the Shaun Tan Young Artists Awards. He also won Best in Show thanks to his shiny coat and wet nose. I was wrong about everyone getting a prize. In fact less than half the finalists got prizes which resulted in one or two very disappointed seven year olds going home with absolutely nothing (apart from the knowledge that they reached the final ten from over 1,200 entries).
Hattie has now moved up a level in jazz and tap (dancing) she now gets to perform to the music of Jive Bunny and Big Fun - I can't wait for the show.

I will try not to leave it as long before the next blog.... in the meantime please enjoy listening to this pan-pipe rendition of C'mon Everybody.

He was trapped in a haircut he no longer believed in

The fight to keep my fringe somewhere near my eyebrows has finally ended in defeat and I have been forced to move the battle lines considerably higher up the forehead. Which means, of course, that the classic 80s hairstyle that has served me so well for over a quarter of a century has finally gone and been replaced with the ubiquitous shaved sides and short spiky top (or in my case fluffy top) that most 'men of a certain age' sport. My decision to change styles was also assisted by the fact that Duran Duran, Spandau Ballet and ABC are all coming to town soon (I think 'The New Romantics' could be the next big thing to break over here along with the rubiks cube). It means that there are already going to be more enough 40 something blokes with floppy fringes in the vicinity without them needing my help. I don't remember much about the operation to give me a 21st century hairstyle because I was heavily sedated throughout the ordeal. At the moment there aren't any pictures of my new look, we have tried but they all come out with a massive glare off my over sized forehead.

Wendy flew out to Brisbane this week for a conference on... she did tell me... I was definitely listening and paying attention... that was it ...little east asians or it could have been litigation. Either way it meant flying to the other side of the country for three days and despite being singled out by security at the airport to be searched for explosives she had a good time. Actually, she may have meant that she had a good time because she was searched - not sure.

George is currently taking the local art world by storm with his avant garde, post-modern, surrealistic, new romantic photography. He's been shortlisted for the prestigious Shaun Tan Award open to all school children in Perth for his thought provoking piece entitled urban beasts. The Award ceremony is being held at Subiaco Library, an indoor venue, so I may be safe from sand blowing into my eyes and making them water when he goes up to get his prize. I'm guessing that all of the finalists will get something, I can't see them dragging kids and their families all that way just to clap when somebody else wins.

Hattie was very happy with the Nintendo DS that she got for her birthday. She's not quite so happy with the fact that I am constantly asking her what DS stands for? She's taken to using it with headphones on so that she can't hear me. We weren't able to arrange for any of her friends to sleepover so she had to settle for a birthday lunch and a trip to the cinema to see 'Horton hears a Who'. She also had an ice cream 'radioactive' birthday cake which had some very unrealistic colouring... she came down off the ceiling by the following Tuesday.

We are in the process of buying a house in Connolly, close to the school, the shops, the golf course and the Kangaroo Arms (a pub)... A coincidence? I think not. If everything goes smoothly we should be moving in around the 5th of June. Photos of us freezing to death trying to get the most out of the solar heated swimming pool in winter will no doubt appear shortly afterwards.

We are going to a bona-fide Australian wedding next Saturday so I shall tell you all about that next time.