I'm waiting for my man, 26 dollars in my hand

I'm guessing Lou Reed was trying to buy decent quality sweets whilst on a tour of Australia when he wrote those lyrics. Such is the poor quality of the home produced confectionary that I've been forced to find a supplier who can get hold of top quality 'real' Lions Midget Gems and Sports Mixtures, no questions asked. They are the genuine article, so much so that the blacks are licorice, none of this new fangled blackcurrant nonsense. I had to pay way over the odds though, $4 (nearly £2) for 100g, I had to sell two of George's birthday presents to pay for them. It would probably be cheaper to actually do hard drugs. I have since found an Aussie 'lolly' (Australian term for all confectionary) that may just help stop my cravings for classic UK sweets, they are called Hard Jubes (normal Jubes are no good) and they are a bit like American Hard Gums but more so, I've done 3 packets this week but I'm not an addict... I could stop if I wanted to, I've just got a cold today.

George has been coming home with some brilliant numeracy (thats Maths in old money) homework. He had a question the other week that went: George has bought a fishing rod and reel for a total price of $78, the reel cost $14 more than the rod, how much did he pay for each item? Sod that, where did he get $78 from and why couldn't I have it to spend on sweets. [I'm expecting the accountants amongst us to have worked out the answer to the question by now, and no you can't use a calculator].
The thing is they are absolutely mad about fishing here and apparently all the migrants take it up within six months of arriving. George has already said he wants to join our friend and his son on a Sunday morning fishing trip... personally, I'm not that keen. It's not the fact that I've had not had much luck when I've dabbled in the 'sport' previously, it's not even the fact that we would have to be up by 7am on the Sabbath, it's that I've read stuff that really puts you off.
There was one article I read that had a picture of an ugly fish that was all spines and lips and the copy said that you can very often catch this fish if you are trying to catch prawns. If you do accidentally catch this fish - don't handle it, just cut your line and walk away. Then it showed a bigger, uglier, spinier fish that was apparently the other ones cousin, the caption said: don't even look at it.
Obviously, if I do get talked into going fishing I won't be fishing for prawns, I'll be trying for something alot safer like shark for instance.

We have found out this week that the shipping won't arrive in Fremantle until the 27th of March. Apparently the ship has been dogged by bad weather and had to put into port to avoid a storm. It will be at least three weeks after that before our container wiil clear customs so we are going to be without furniture for some time yet. One of Wendy's work colleagues has very kindly lent us a double bed, a collection of barbies and a huge tub of lego. I don't know whether the bed is comfy or not, we've had it three days but I've not been to sleep because I've been too occupied playing with ba.... er..lego.

Due to the fact that I have been offered a 'proper' job the blogs may become a bit more infrequent from now on (stop cheering). I will be working for a small design studio - producing logos, brochures, websites, etc (and most probably making the tea). It's going to be a steep learning curve (I never could make tea) but I'm really looking forward to it.

I'm off down to the 'British Lolly' shop now to work out what I can spend my first weeks wages on.
Sherbert Pips? Rhubarb and Custard? Floral Gums? Wine Gums? Butterscotch Tablets? Rosy Apples? Yorkshire Mixture? Teddy Bears?

Tears of a Clown

We went to watch Hattie's class present the school assembly last Friday. They put on a performance all about clowns. It was very entertaining, not a bit like the real thing, which is probably why my Coulrophobia (irrational fear of clowns) never kicked in. Hattie did some tightrope walking at the dizzy height of 3cm off the ground (the thickness of a skipping rope). She was wearing black leggings and her oversized white trainers which made her look like a cross between Max Wall and Ronald McDonald. The Assembly Hall is outside and a gust of wind blew some sand into my eyes and made them water just as she was doing her act, either that or a proud parent gene was activated and I was blubbing like a big girl.

George's birthday party went very smoothly on Saturday and the five hours passed without any major incident. There were a couple of 'interesting' moments involving a man with a tyre, a couple of odd looking ducks and a gang of about 20 female teenage pirates... but it would take far too long to explain, you just had to be there. The boys also had a great time in Sizzlers inventing new recipes for 'spiders' (in the UK they are floats... ice cream with fizzy pop poured over). Personally I wouldn't have drunk the one that mixed coke, cream soda, lemon lime & bitters and a kiwi fruit but they seemed to like it.

On Sunday, we spent the late afternoon on the beach and then when the sun went down we stayed and watched a Japanese animated movie. Despite the fact that the film was very good, without the sickly sweet plot and mind numbingly awful soundtrack of a Disney cartoon, and that it was free, and that there was plenty of room even though there were lots of people watching - we still felt a little cheated. It had been advertised that the screen would be floating in the harbour and in the end it was just sat on the beach, very disappointing, and to make matters worse when the moon came up... it wasn't on a stick.

Wendy has been able to buy and install a skype phone, so now we can have conversations for free and you don't have to look at us... that's got to be a good thing. Now you won't have to wear shades to combat the glare being reflected from my bald patch.

At last, I have been for a few job interviews in the last fortnight but still haven't actually managed to secure gainful employment yet, The interviews have gone really well but just when I think I've landed the job they've said to me "Have you ever thought about writing a book?"
In fact for one of the jobs I even got called back for a second interview, it was between me and a young lady... and I came second (there is definitely a joke in there but it's very rude so I'll leave it to you to find it). I am currently hounding the secretary of the Sports Editor of the major newspaper here in Perth in an attempt to arrange to meet up for an interview. The way things are progressing me and Carol may end up going out on a date before I get in to see the Editor.

And finally...
The quirky news story at the end.
I found this cutting in a (different) local paper:
"The other event was a sandcastle competition to mark the first visit to Australia of Pope Benedict XVI in July"

I really wish I could have been at the meeting when they came up with that one. Right so the Pope's coming over this winter what should we do to mark this historic visit?
Well, I think we should give the church a new coat of paint... yes, good.
Do you think we should brush up on our Latin?... fair point, well put.
How about a sandcastle competition... genius.
More communion wine anyone?

Well thats it for another week, I'm going to log onto the interflora website now to order some flowers for Carol.
Bye