She's got legs...and she knows how to use them

• Lucy Bear Operation - Progress Report

We are very pleased to anounce that the operation to mend Lucy Bears leg has been a complete success. It was quite straight forward really, although a couple of the holes weren't quite alligned correctly so we had to drill them out a bit and then bash the screws in with an hammer.... oh no sorry that wasn't Lucy Bear's operation, that was putting the bed together.

In fact, much to Hattie's relief, Wendy had to be called in at the last minute to place the stictches in Lucy Bear because I was needed elsewhere to perform an emergency 'replacingbuttonsonmyshortsectomy'. There are only a few of us that are skilled enough to perform such ground breaking surgery - it would appear that my first year needlework teacher was wrong in her appraisal of me. The original button was last seen heading south at a blistering rate of knots as just I was finishing the last mouthful of my fourth kebab.

So it looks like Lucy Bear will make a full recovery, unless the ratings go down again, then she will probably suffer a very severe relapse or undergo a head transplant (like the Lucy in neighbours). She is not receiving visitors at the moment and asked that instead of gifts, all well wishers should make a donation to the hospital charity to help other sick and needy cuddly toys. Please make all cheques payable to C.A.S.H (Cuddly Animals Surgical Hospital). Thank You.

In other news

• George's bed arrived on time. It was then assembled quickly and efficiently(ish) and is still standing (hooray). George was so excited to get a bunk bed that he volunteered to help put it together. As it was self assembly there was plenty of swearing, misreading of rubbish instruction diagrams and chucking of tools in frustration... but he soon stopped when I told him to calm down.
• Wendy has started work this week. So I am now left home alone all day with only a computer, my pet spider(s) and a tin of tomatoes for company. Wendy is also doing some after work courses to help her get up to speed with the Australian accountancy and tax systems... I've re-arranged my pencils into chronological order - the whole HB, B , 2B thing was just too con-formist for me.
• The new Ikea opened here last week. Unfortunately, due to it being the only day we could get there and the fact that we needed a large amount of home utensils, Wendy and I went on the day it opened. Pure, unadulterated hell. The car parks and surrounding environs were just full to overflowing - luckily, we've got a big 4wd thingy so we just parked on top of a little Kia. It has to be said that I am a big fan of scandinavian design - the clean lines, the gentle curves, the blonde hair and how can you have anything but affection for the Billy bookcase (unless of course you have to put it together). But the problem was that it's the first real Ikea to open in WA. There was one previously but it was only about as big Milnes' (thats a reference for all our Maltby readers). I just about survived and was allowed Swedish meatballs for being good.
• Not my bedroom. The room I thought that I'd been allocated as my bedroom turned out to be a walk in wardrobe.

Any other business - Re: Marks comment. I am pleased to say that I do know the cultural reference which he alluded to. I believe House is the US TV programme for which Hugh Lawrie has won a shed load of awards despite appearing to do to the american accent what Dick van Dyke did to the cockerneeee one. I also have to confess that originally I thought he meant Doogie Howzwer MD but thats not nearly as current.

All done. I'm off to have lunch - probably spider and tomatoe surprise.

H

Please note that no bears or cuddly toys of any kind were harmed during the making of this blog.