Floods, gales and now earthquakes - make sure somebody lets me know when the locusts arrive. I was intending to bang on about the extreme weather we are enduring over here at the moment (the temperatures are in the high 30's) hoping you'd spare me a thought the next time you have the pleasure of scraping the ice off the inside of your car but it all seems a bit tame now.
I hope no-one suffered any structural damage. As I understand it you were all in bed at the time, it was all over inside 5 seconds and it's the first time it's happened for a number of years... add your own punchline.
In a sort of related way - this time ten years ago George was being born, Wendy was going through agony and I was being very supportive whilst at the same time being distracted by the cricket on the TV, not a great deal has changed really. George is having a birthday party on Saturday, for which he's invited 3 of his friends round - there's an English one, a Scottish one and an Australian one - it sounds like the start of a Bernard Manning joke. I've made the arrangements and believe me it took ages trying to find an Australian boy. The friends are coming around at 2.01pm and bringing their own toys with them to play with, Callum (the Australian one) is sleeping over and he's having to bring his own bed and bedding with him - we're hoping he'll forget to take them home when he leaves. After they've played for a bit and got bored, 2.03pm precisely, I'm taking the boys to 'Sizzlers'. I believe it's an all you can eat restaurant although it does sound like an adult theme bar, either way I'm sure it will do us just fine.
Hattie has now started taking dancing lessons, apparently she wants to learn more than just the 'teacher dancing' moves I've taught her - all I've got to say is: they worked on her mum. She's doing tap and jazz (not a clue what that is) and Grade 1 ballet. I'm guessing Grade 1 is a very short version (grade 1, short...get it? no?... forget it). I haven't seen her but I'm presuming that Hatties ballet teacher is in her mid 30's, slim build, moderately attractive with mid length brown hair scraped off her forehead into a pony tail and that she also has a walking stick and a pronounced limp... they are always like that in the movies. And also like the movies, there is going to be a show - I'm sure the authorities will try to suppress it but there is definitely going to be a show and it's on December the 19th (December, you say?). Unfortunately I'll have to miss it. I'm busy that day compiling a list of my top 5 favourite films about basketball playing teenage Werewolves.
Wendy has already got lots of projects on at work and is booked to pop over to Brisbane for a conference at the end of April. That's pop, as in taking a 5 to 6 hour plane journey across two time zones.
And finally... I would like to thank all those people who have very kindly told me that I should write a book. I've only published one of the comments otherwise it would start to look like I'm turning the blog into my own personal fan club. I can't help feeling that the people who are making these suggestions have seen my design work and are trying to drop the hint that maybe I should consider a career move. Also, I can't say I know what a literary agent does exactly but I'm sure they have to do more for their 10% than say I think you should write something. I can imagine a guy in a cafe in Edinburgh going up to Ms Rowling and saying "I tell you what JK, bang us out a story while your sat drinking your coffee. That'll be 10% of a billion pounds please".
With the way things seem to be going, I predict that the whole of Ashby-de-la-Zouch will have been destroyed by a volcanic erruption before I write my next post - so make sure you stock up on crisps (or chips as they call them here -more of that another time)
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